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The Monday Morning Memo

Audi means “listen” in Latin. I wish I would have known that before my wife took everything. The universe is laughing at me. And so is she.

I owned this car before I met her. I was a boss. Eyes gawked. Friends called to hang out. This car makes you sing better, dance smoother and your southern region look bigger. 

The only thing I have left is this car. 

I don’t want to sell it, but I need cash for rent, bus tickets and some new clothes. She took those too. Don’t kick me in the groin and ask if I’ll take less. You need to know two things: 1. My ex has my man parts. 2. I’ve already priced it to sell.  

You’re not the type that likes to kick a man when he’s down.

If you want to be “the man”, but don’t have the money for a new car, get an A4. A little advice: don’t marry the girl that is attracted to it. And there will be many of them.

Must be the rings.

# # # #

Writing to Involve, Enchant, and Persuade – June 5-6

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Random Quote:

“Consider a single piece glowing in your family’s stove. See it, children? That chunk of coal was once a green plant, a fern or reed that lived one million years ago, or maybe two million, or maybe one hundred million. Can you imagine one hundred million years? Every summer for the whole life of that plant, its leaves caught what light they could and transformed the sun’s energy into itself. Into bark, twigs, stems. Because plants eat light, in much the way we eat food. But then the plant died and fell, probably into water, and decayed into peat, and the peat was folded inside the earth for years upon years—eons in which something like a month or a decade or even your whole life was just a puff of air, a snap of two fingers. And eventually the peat dried and became like stone, and someone dug it up, and the coal man brought it to your house, and maybe you yourself carried it to the stove, and now that sunlight—sunlight one hundred million years old—is heating your home tonight.”

- Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See

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