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The Monday Morning Memo

“I’m an expert on Nixon because he and I went to the same dentist. He got drilled and X-rayed just as I did, in the same chair. So I can get on the radio and tell you all about his place in history. In this endeavor, I am being monitored and closely watched by faithful listeners who have been asking, ‘Just what will you say about Nixon on the radio? I mean, given your history and all?’ Well, here it is: I liked the son of a bitch. I think we have lost a great man. (Oh, but you shouldn’t say that word on the radio!) But this is Nixon we’re talking about. And he would understand. I liked Nixon because he was a scrambler who could curse and swear and drink with the best of them and I don’t feel compelled to apologize for feeling the way I do about the flawed, imperfect, awkward, struggling man who was buried yesterday.”
– William O’Shaughnessy, a liberal radio host in his 1994 on-air commentary about the death of Richard Nixon, a conservative ex-president.

I only met O’Shaughnessy once, but I liked him. Unlike the average broadcaster today, Bill had elegance, grace, charm, and an educated vocabulary. When the quote you just read popped up on my Random Quotes database a moment ago, I googled his name only to learn that he died last year. I should have written to tell him what I just told you. Oh well, perhaps it is enough to have told you.

Here is my favorite passage from his colorful and lengthy obituary:

“A ‘Vivid Man About Town’ who frequented Le Cirque, ’21,’ and The Four Seasons when they were around, O’Shaughnessy always wore blazers on an airplane, and Belgian loafers, and he could signal ships and stop traffic with his Yankees World Series ring, a gift to him from George M. Steinbrenner, who admired a commentary he had written about Wellington Mara.”

Rest in Peace, Bill.

Roy H. Williams

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Download the PDF "Dictionary of the Cognoscenti of Wizard Academy"

Random Quote:

“Billy Bob by God
Was a son of a gun
Never hurt nobody
Never hurt no one
But he was bound for trouble
Everyone could see
He was lookin’ for trouble
And he done found me.

Billy Bob by God
Was a son-of-a-bitch,
A human mosquito,
He could make you itch.
Had a nose like a needle
And he would always stick it
Where it didn’t belong.
Made you want to kick it.

Billy Bob, by God
Was an action figure,
Thought posin’ and flexin’
Made him look bigger,
But he was a fool,
Anyone could see,
He was lookin’ for trouble
And he done found me.

Well that plastic boy
Had himself a bad day
So he decided to send
Some of it my way,
But I didn’t want it
So I gave it back
And Billy Bob by God
Decided to attack.

Well you know what happened,
Of course you do,
Billy Bob by God,
He knew it, too,
And everyone watchin’
Was surprised to see,
That Billy Bob by God,
He was a SHE!

Billy Bob by God
Was a son of a gun
Never hurt nobody
Never hurt no one
But she was bound for trouble
Everyone could see
She was lookin’ for trouble
And she done found me.

So we got to talkin’,
Then we got to dancin’
And before you knew it,
We was romancin’
And then to my and her
Complete surprise
We started havin’ kids,
Five little guys!

Billy Bob by God
Is a helluva Mom,
And those five little boys,
They did nothin’ wrong,
But Billy Bob and me,
We love Johnny Cash
So we decided to do
Somethin’ rash.

We named them boys
Sage, and Star, and Sky,
And one of ’em is Jane!
And my-oh-my we even
named one of ‘em Betty Lou!

[Music stops. The singer is now speaking]
But we knew better
Than to EVER
Have a boy named Sue.

[Music Resumes]
Billy Bob by God
Is the love of my LIFE!
And Billy Bob by God
Is a helluva wife
And you gotta know
That she’s a helluva Mom,
Because them five boys,
They WROTE this song!”

- © Roy H. Williams, May 1, 2025

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