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The Monday Morning Memo

It was quite busy. In the front entrance, two friendly ladies were seated at a table handing out free visitor’s packs – big, bright yellow plastic bags – and these were accepted with expressions of gratitude and rapture by everyone who passed.

‘Care for a visitors’ pack, sir?’ called one of the ladies to me.

‘Oh, yes please,’ I said, more thrilled than I wished to admit. The visitors’ pack was a weighty offering, but on inspection it proved to contain nothing but a mass of brochures – the complete works, it appeared, of the visitors’ centre I had visited the day before. The bag was so heavy that it stretched the handles until it was touching the floor. I dragged it around for a while, and then thought to abandon it behind a pot plant. And here’s the thing. There wasn’t room behind the pot plant for another yellow bag! There must have been ninety of them back there. I looked around and noticed that almost no one in the room still had a plastic bag. I leaned mine against the wall beside the plant and as I straightened up I saw that a man was advancing toward me.

‘Is this where the bags go?’ he asked gravely.

‘Yes, it is,’ I replied with equal gravity.

In my momentary capacity as director of internal operations I watched him lean the bag carefully against the wall. Then we stood for a moment together and regarded it judiciously, pleased to have contributed to the important work of moving hundreds of yellow bags from the foyer to a mustering station in the next room. As we stood, two more people came along. ‘Place them just here,’ we suggested almost in unison, and indicated where we were sandbagging the wall. Then we exchanged satisfied nods and moved off into the museum.

– Bill Bryson, Down Under, p. 142-143

 

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Random Quote:

“There is, of course, in Don Quixote’s stable a half-starved nag. After four days of meditation on such names as Bucephalus and Babieca, (the stallion of the Cid), Quixote christens his jade Rocinante. Rocin means hack horse: wherefore Don Quixote meant that his mount was before all the other hacks of the world.

This detail, appearing in the first chapter of the Book, might give the canny reader pause. ‘Why,’ he might ask, ‘if the deluded eyes—as we are told—of Don Quixote saw his hack equal to the steeds of Amadis or King Alexander, did he christen him with a name so comical and so revealing?’ The reader will be aware of a curious shift in this Don Quixote’s madness: a note of self-conscious irony, not usually found in the insane upon the point of their mania…

In the matter of the selecting of a Lady (that needed spur of every true knight-errant) it is clear that Don Quixote knows the facts about Aldonza Lorenzo, wench daughter of Lorenzo Cochuelo of El Toboso. Quite consciously, he turns her into the divine Dulcinea whom henceforth he will worship. This he makes his ‘truth’: there is no evidence that the fact of the girl is ever hidden from him. He needs a helmet—indeed he needs Mambrino’s magic helmet. A barber comes, riding an ass and on his head (for it is raining) a copper bleeding-dish. This is the golden helmet of Mambrino; and as such Don Quixote takes it. But in the parley before and after, with Sancho Panza, it is plain that the knight accepts Sancho’s fact about the dish: he merely turns it, for his own purpose, into his knightly ‘truth.'”

- - from Don Quixote: A Modern Scripture, by Waldo Frank. A feature in VQR, Volume 2, Number 1, Winter 1926

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