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The Monday Morning Memo

 

Last Saturday, Asia Gregg received this text.

Hey girl.

Give me your best advice in life you have learned thus far.

Asia replied, 

Lol excuse me what?

Ok here’s some:

Never trust a man wearing pointy shoes.

In summer if you buy a bunch of cans of shaving cream at the dollar store and freeze them, you can cut them open and throw the frozen blocks of shaving cream into the bed of someone’s truck and by the morning they’ll have expanded to fill their entire truck bed. Do with that what you will.

You can get into almost any venue with a vest that says Parking or a lanyard that says Press or a clipboard, especially if you act super bored about being there.

If someone says something rude to you, always ask “excuse me?” or “what?” to make them repeat the rude statement. Makes them uncomfortable too.

“Chop wood and it’ll warm you twice” is a nice sentiment but really it’s more like chop wood and it’ll warm you like 9 times cause first you gotta gather the wood, throw it in the truck bed, unload the truck bed, stack it, pull it from the pile to chop it, restack the chopped wood, bring it into the house, stack it again, then load it into the fireplace.

Also did you know that you can just buy skunk musk?

Like you can just purchase skunk musk and there’s nothing they can do to stop you, and you can just have skunk musk and do with it what you will to the air intakes of your enemies.

Not saying I’ve done that, just saying that if you plan on doing that, at least you should store the skunk musk in a coffee can of cat litter cause that’s the only thing that stops the smell.

Or so I’ve heard.

– Asia

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Random Quote:

“By and large, our world has lost its sense of wonder. We have grown up. We no longer catch our breath at the sight of a rainbow or the scent of a rose, as we once did. We have grown bigger and everything else smaller, less impressive.”

- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel, p. 76

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