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The Monday Morning Memo

“We have seen his star in the east,
and are come to worship him.”

– The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 2

 Unlike the shepherds,
the wise men didn't get a visit from angels.
They figured it out on their own.

You've got to love the wisards.

Remember John Milton of Paradise Lost?
Barely 21 years old, Milton stayed up all night
on Christmas Eve in 1629 to write
On the Morning of Christ's Nativity.

It was the first thing he ever wrote.
This is the fourth stanza of that poem:


“See how from far upon the eastern road

The star-led wisards haste with odours sweet:
O run, prevent them with thy humble ode,
And lay it lowly at his blessed feet.
Have thou the honour first thy Lord to greet,
And join thy voice unto the angel quire,
From out his secret altar touch'd with hallow'd fire.”



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Download the PDF "Dictionary of the Cognoscenti of Wizard Academy"

Random Quote:

“Yesterday, I was at my local TSC store picking up a large bag of dog food for Maverick. (We sometimes supplement his raw stuff with a little kibble, especially when it’s cold out.) While waiting in the checkout line, a woman behind me glanced at the bag and asked, “Do you have a dog?”

What did she think I had—an elephant? But since I’m old and have plenty of time on my hands, I decided to have a little fun. “No,” I said with a straight face, “I don’t have a dog. I’m starting the Dog Diet again.”

Her eyebrows shot up, so I continued. “I probably shouldn’t, though. Last time, it worked wonders—I lost 10 pounds—but I ended up in the hospital. I woke up in intensive care with tubes everywhere and IVs in both arms.”

By now, the people in line were starting to pay attention. “The diet is simple,” I explained. “You just keep some dog kibble in your pockets and eat a piece every time you feel hungry. It’s nutritionally balanced, so it’s perfect for weight loss. I figured I’d give it another shot.”

The woman looked horrified. “Did the dog food poison you?” she asked.

“Oh no,” I replied, shaking my head. “I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s rear end, and a car hit me.”

The guy behind her nearly fell over laughing, and I’m pretty sure the cashier couldn’t breathe. Suffice it to say, I think I might be banned from Tractor Supply now.

Moral of the story? Be careful what you ask us old folks—we’ve got all the time in the world to come up with stupid answers just to jack with you.”

- BuffaloGuyRon

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