If you’d like to see your company in the rabbit hole, please send all appropriate details to my assistant
Andrew Harrison at Andrew@WizardOfAds.com And be sure to specify what you’re offering as a bribe.
[Note: the Wizard has prohibited me from accepting cash. Besides, cash ain’t my thang anyway.]
Dear Indy,
Enclosed, please find a custom made, full upper denture.
I’ve been watching you for years now, and I rarely see you smiling. Dentists will tell you the most obvious reason for not smiling is embarrassment of the state of your teeth. That may or may not be true in your case, but a famous celebrity like you deserves to flash nice pearlies. So, I whipped these up for you.
While you are the first canine we have fabricated a denture for, fear not for we are well versed in serving the animal community. We’ve constructed a cast chrome partial denture for a baboon to keep him from wearing away his incisors. A circus elephant is also a grateful client as we constructed several custom made composite fillings for the painful cavities in his tusks.
Most people mistakenly assume the eyes are the most important aspect of beauty. Yet, a 2007 study (Journal of the American Dental Assoc.) discovered, the smile is the most critical attribute in determining facial attractiveness. Teeth and smile received a rating of 81.5%, while the eyes only scored a 75.7%. According to the study, the greater the misalignment of a person’s teeth, the lower they scored the face in attractiveness – even if the eyes were beautiful.
Although your mug is attractive, think how gorgeous you’ll be with your new smile. Talk about animal magnetism. Wowzah!
You don’t seem to have any problems in the self-image department, but here are some other reasons to smile with your new teeth:
- Smiling radiates confidence and you’re instantly perceived as more attractive and more easily approachable. (Hmmm…perhaps more dates during mating season?)
- Smiling releases endorphins into your system, giving you a natural high, making you feel vibrant and vigorous. (Imagine the scent you’ll leave behind now.)
- The muscles used in smiling provide a natural facelift, making you look years younger. (And that’s important when you consider “dog years.”)
- And in business, smiling people have a much higher rate of promotion than those who don’t. (Just think…you could be starring in a Super Bowl commercial next year!)
Indy, you’ve given me loads of enjoyment over the years, I just wish you’d smile more.
Perhaps now you will.
Perhaps now you will.
Your pal,
Bob Wakitsch
Dental Craft Corporation
Ringwood, IL.