Do you speak geek? Can you configure DNS records, transfer domain names and diagnose problems with web servers and keep my websites up and running without someone looking over your shoulder telling you what needs to be done next? Are you an online fix-it person? Will you look me in the eye and guarantee, unconditionally, that my Monday Morning Memo will be delivered on time to my subscribers each week without excuses? Can you survive happily on 45k per year? In short, are you my new webmaster? Now before you get all worked up and send me an email explaining how you can do all this from your home, let me say that it ain’t gonna happen. My new webmaster is going to spend 40 hours per week in the office next to mine in Austin, Texas. If you don’t want to live in Austin and/or you don’t want to work for me full-time, then quit reading; you and I have nothing to talk about. I see you’re still reading. Okay. Now you’re probably wondering what you’re going to do with the 35 hours per week that you’re not doing web stuff. Good question. Are you any good with Photoshop? Can you lay out brochures and flyers and maps and stuff for us to hand out to the 50,000 visitors that come to our non-traditional business school campus each year? Oh, I forgot to tell you, your new office is in the middle of a beautiful 32-acre campus. And if we have a problem with the phone system, you’re probably the person who’s going to have to get it figured out and fixed. Pronto. You beginning to understand this job? It’s hectic. But you’re going to be working in breathtaking natural beauty. That’s always a plus. And you’re going to love your co-workers. Maybe one day you’ll pitch in to help unload a bunch of books from an 18-wheeler in the parking lot, then when you’re done, set up the microphones and TV cameras to record a guest speaker in our auditorium. Bottom line: anything and everything is “your job.” We have about 10 people here who are trying to do the work of fifty. When you get here, we’ll have 11 people trying to do the work of fifty-five. The five people whose jobs you’ll be doing are the ones who make sure all the electrical stuff is hooked up and working. If it’s got electricity in it, it’s your domain. But never, ever forget: If I wake up on Monday Morning and the Monday Morning Memo wasn’t delivered during the night, you’re fired. Please know that I'm not kidding. Can you swing this hammer? Pansies and whiners need not apply. Convince us that you’re the person we need. Send your story to Tamara@WizardOfAds.com
This video below has nothing to do with today's memo or with the classified ad. I just like the song and I thought you might, too.
Don't forget the rabbit hole. (Enter it by clicking the image at the top of this week's Monday Morning Memo.) The rabbit hole this week is a wandering investigation of the Japanese attraction to shadows. It's more interesting than you might think.