• Home
  • Memo
    • Past Memo Archives
    • Podcast (iTunes)
    • RSS Feed
  • Roy H. Williams
    • Private Consulting
    • Public Speaking
    • Pendulum_Free_PDF
    • Sundown in Muskogee
    • Destinae, the Free the Beagle trilogy
    • People Stories
    • Stuff Roy Said
      • The Other Kind of Advertising
        • Business Personality Disorder PDF Download
        • The 10 Most Common Mistakes in Marketing
          • How to Build a Bridge to Millennials_PDF
          • The Secret of Customer Loyalty and Not Having to Discount
          • Roy’s Politics
    • Steinbeck’s Unfinished Quixote
  • Wizard of Ads Partners
  • Archives
  • More…
    • Steinbeck, Quixote and Me_Cervantes Society
    • Rabbit Hole
    • American Small Business Institute
    • How to Get and Hold Attention downloadable PDF
    • Wizard Academy
    • What’s the deal with
      Don Quixote?
    • Quixote Wasn’t Crazy
      • Privacy Policy
      • Will You Donate A Penny A Wedding to Bring Joy to People in Love?

The Monday Morning Memo

 

“Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things:  Good morning, and Congratulations to the Dartmouth class of 2011.

Today you have achieved something special, something only 92% of Americans your age will ever know… a college diploma. That’s right. With your college diploma, you now have a crushing advantage over 8% of the workforce.

I am talking about dropout LOSERS like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.

Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired president of the United States and decorated war hero, while I, a cable television talk show host, have been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.

I would like to thank President Kim for inviting me here today. After my phone call with President Kim, I decided to find out a little bit about the man. He goes by President Kim, and Dr. Kim. To his friends, he’s Jim-Kim J of the K… Special K… JK Rowling… the Just-Kidding Kimster… and most puzzling, Stinky Pete.

He serves as the chair of the Department of Global Health and Social Medicine at Harvard Medical School. He spearheaded a task force for the World Health Organization on global health initiatives. He won a MacArthur Genius Grant, and was one of TIME magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in 2006.

Good God, man! What the hell are you compensating for?”

– Conan O’Brien,
delivering the Commencement Speech at Dartmouth University

Email Newsletter

Sign up to receive the Monday Morning Memo in your inbox!

Download the PDF "Dictionary of the Cognoscenti of Wizard Academy"

Random Quote:

“Manipulation goes away when the lights come on, but influence doesn’t.”

- Daniel Whittington, during lunch at Jack Allen's on May 4, 2018

The Wizard Trilogy

The Wizard Trilogy

More Information

  • Privacy Policy
  • Wizard Academy
  • Wizard Academy Press

Contact Us

512.295.5700
corrine@wizardofads.com

Address

16221 Crystal Hills Drive
Austin, TX 78737
512.295.5700

The MondayMorningMemo© of Roy H. Williams, The Wizard of Ads®