Taking the time to write a personal note to say thank-you to a host, a service provider, someone who made me smile, someone who took the time to encourage me, a co-worker or employee who did a great job, a vendor who served me well,, or even someone I know could that use an ego biscuit today. I know that I should, I always put in on my to do list, I even carry the cards with envelopes and stamps, but woefully it seldom happens. This is my familiar face of failure.
My recurrent shortcoming is that I too often look to, or rely on, the “experts” for an answer instead of trusting myself for fear that my answer is not the right answer.
It is not quality of the writing itself that has me putting the most important responses on the back burner….it is the quality of my frame of mind. These most special people do not particularly care if I take a great deal of care with my response. However, I have this misguided notion that when I answer their emails, I should be clear-minded and focused and they should be my top priority at the time. Like my trainer says, I have to ‘get my mind right.’ Unfortunately, that seems to take more strength and will than I have most days.
My lifelong weakness, and continued failure no matter often attempting to overcome it is cussing. I am very good at it. It’s a deep part of my history at many levels. Yet someone who swears a lot has a ceiling and it’s time for me to move to newer heights and my language keeps holding me back.
Ugh, why must Roy ask this of us? I am so slow to make a decision I drive everyone in my life crazy. I realize as an ENTP that I am just wired that way. But I make it hard on myself and harder on those I love that I am so indecisive. I am trying to learn to just pull the trigger and let the chips fall.
I’m very good at a lot of different things (not world class, but definitely professional level), and I stay away from committing to ONE of them as a career / vocation for fear that I won’t be able to do all the others. -OR- My communication ability and wit is so good that I can essentially talk my way into or out of just about any situation without putting in the work of actually learning the domain-specific knowledge.
– Bob (Yep, a second Bob. – Indy)
Wasting time… Wasting time on any number of amusements. TV… I have crafted some (not so good) reasons for wasting time: “I’m physically exhausted”, I can’t think straight at this point of the day and eating so much at dinner that my body is sapping what little energy I have left to digest my food, but when I fail to use my time more wisely in pursuit of my goals, dreams or what I’d say are my higher callings I feel a slight sickness in my gut edging towards a mild depression – I fear the future face of looking back in regret. That children’s book I wrote 5 years ago that needs editing, finishing the book of proverbs for men etc. My phone has given me a reminder every day in 2017 – “get your ass going on your dreams!”
Every new year I say…..”this year I will not commit to doing more than I actually can do”……and by about now in January……I’ve already done it….. Love the beagle…..
Recurrent shortcoming: Treat complete and utter strangers frequently with more care, compassion, empathy and resources than family and close friends. Explanation for, or my reasoning at least: Family and friends should already be witness to those capacities that I possess. To the best of my memory, I have never let them down. But wait, that’s my memory and recall of events. That may satisfy my still ever present and thoroughly annoying ego but, is that REALITY. Oh yeah, almost forgot I think long and hard about what I write. Sadly I can at a nano-second’s notice say something spiteful to again close friends and sadly family.
Coveting sleep. It began when my baby boy wouldn’t close his eyes longer than 90 minutes. He was 8 months old before we could count on at least 6 hours of sleep. It created an anxiety about not getting enough rest that’s lasted – well, he’ll be 9 years old next month. Absurd, I realize. But no less true. I don’t think I’ve articulated this failure to anyone before. Not sure why I’m choosing to now. But there it is. Coveting sleep. I need to shake it.
Roy’s MMM for today resonated strongly. My familiar face of failure is that I’m hardest and harshest on the people I care about the most, namely my immediate family. I’m overly tolerant of work colleagues, church folk and the barista at Starbucks, but my family gets both barrels all too often. My justification is that I can be real with them or that I’m trying to help my kids be ready for the real world, but mostly I think I just forget kindness and am a jerk. Need to change and stop making excuses…
The birth of a glimmer in the corner of an otherwise well-lit room; that is my shortcoming. The first drop claiming a piece of pavement before the coming deluge, and the first spear of light through the sky’s dark shield as the deluge dies. Waking the next story before the current tale is put to bed. Shortcomings all. My mind, if not my soul, saddles itself to new ideas, plans, and projects in the same way Pony Express riders switch to fresh mounts. What’s behind has become boring. The current a chore. The next… a siren just beyond the reefs of the unfinished. In a universe of duality, I know that at some point I will have to account to the Bookkeeper for the deficit of completions next to the column of beginnings, but not today. Today there’s something I need to get started on.
Running late because: of course there is time for just “one more little thing” before I have to leave. …and feeling guilty either way. Either because I am late or because I should have got more done!
I have a really hard time blindly committing. To anything.
I was referred to your weekly emails by a colleague and must tell you that I enjoy them. I am in public service (land-use planning), not advertising, but you still often give me pause for thought. This Monday Morning memo about failure is a brave and honest one. It’s not easy to air one’s faults to others. I share your tendency to do what is less important but seems more pressing, while putting off what is ultimately more important and more meaningful. I’ve marked the 23rd anniversary of my 30th birthday. I hear ya. Keep on writing.