[crickets SFX. Trucks pulling by]
ANNCR: These are the owners of Allbritten Heating and Air Conditioning.

JERRY: Umm. Andrea?

ANDREA: Yes Dad?

JERRY: Why are you …uh… dressed up like a fire woman?

ANDREA: Because at Allbritten, we’re here to help people. We come to the RESCUE!

JERRY: Yeah, with their furnace problem.

ANDREA: EXACTLY.
[now speaking to listeners]
A furnace is a carefully controlled FIRE burning in your home.

JERRY: Yes.

ANDREA: Maybe you’ve noticed a weird noise, or a strange smell, or you’re just not getting much hot air. These are symptoms of what could be a dangerous problem with your furnace. So protect your family!

JERRY: Are you talking to ME now? Or are you still talking to the radio audience?

ANDREA: If you even suspect you have a furnace problem, call Allbritten. Let us give you our Furnace Diagnostic and Safety Check for just 59 dollars.

JERRY: Safety is important.

ANDREA: But if you wait too long and there IS a fire, I’ll RUSH in –

JERRY: No you won’t-

ANDREA: -IF needed –

JERRY: No honey…Take off the hat.

ANDREA: OK Dad. We’ll just save people’s furnaces BEFORE they need a firewoman.

JERRY: That’s my girl.

DEVIN: The 59 Dollar Furnace Diagnostic and Safety Check, from Allbritten. Go to Allbritten dotcom.

Little Kids A cappella Jingle:  A Double L… B-R-I… T-T, E-N.