Goals_June13_2016 - The Monday Morning Memo

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
– Dr. Seuss and Brian Scudamore

“

I am not allowed to carry a whip
Imitating Indiana Jones in any way is forbidden
“For fun-sies” is not an acceptable synonym for “ritual purposes”
I am not allowed to use my trowel as a knife
I am not allowed to use a skull to recite Hamlet (It’s insulting to the skull)
I am not a general in the skeleton war
I am not allowed to claim that I can raise the dead
I am not allowed to sing “Hi-ho” while using a mattock
If I am bit by an insect I must report for treatment, not insist that I will become Spiderman
I am not “king of the spoil heap” nor do I “rule over the mighty clods”
Our university funding is for equipment, not alcohol
I am not allowed to kick someone into the trench and yell, “This. Is. Sparta.”
I am not allowed to play “the floor is lava” in the trenches
If jewelry is found, I am not to call it “my precious” nor horde it like Smeagol
No artifact we find appoints me as the chosen one
I am not allowed to start a gang
I am not allowed to play baseball with shovels
I will not switch the decaf with regular nor the regular with expresso, no matter how efficient it would be
I am not allowed to call the crew “gold diggers”
Or “grave diggers” however accurate that may be
I am not allowed to have flashbacks to wars I was never in
I am not allowed to act like I am possessed by the spirits of those we exhume
I am not allowed to taunt the paleontologists
Machetes are tools, not toys
When someone asks, “can I have a hand?” I am not to give them a bag of hand bones
I am not allowed to talk to the public about good places to bury a body
We do not perform virgin sacrifices
We do not perform blood sacrifices either
I am not allowed to act like a flamboyant fashion photographer while taking in-situ photographs
The drone is a tool, not a toy
There are several tests to determine if it is a bone aside from licking it
I am not allowed to be drinking when I should be working
I am not allowed to refer to spilled drinks as “libations to the gods”
The GIS is not my “wizard staff”
I am not allowed to insist that any inscription is a curse. It’s probably graffiti
Especially if I cannot actually read said language
Take that hat off
I am not to address supervisors as “master” or insinuate I am their minion
I am not allowed to prescribe any medication to the undergrads.
I have a doctorate, but I am not a medical doctor
Doing any form of illicit substance is not considered experimental archaeology, even if I write the results down
A rain-filled trench is not a pool
I am not allowed to talk like a pirate
I am not allowed to join the local gang either.

“

- Andrei Friedman

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
– Dr. Seuss and Brian Scudamore

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“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Dr. Seuss and Brian Scudamore

More Information

Contact Us

Address

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
– Dr. Seuss and Brian Scudamore