Here’s my entry for your hamster contest. Okay, that sounds weird.
Since I work in radio, my ad would be a promo for the radio station.
Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Everywhere Harvey went, the rodent went along. Even to the studio … where Harvey did his radio show. The scent of wood chips in the air punctuated by the sporadic squeaking of Wiggins’ wheel. Alas, the whiskered co-host is gone now. Victim of a tragic cable-gnawing incident. But Harvey’s okay. He’s found a new pocketable pet. Carl. Surprising star quality. For a rat. Classic rodents. Classic rock. Classic Harvey & The Q Crew … mornings on Q104. – J. Calnan
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Every night when the house was quiet Harvey would hear Wiggins running in his wheel. “Squeeka, Sqeeka, Squeeka”. Wiggins ran and ran, but never got anywhere. But then again, so did Harvey. Alarm, cereal, coffee, traffic, useless job, TV, bed – repeat. Then he came to On Demand Employment at 18th and Central. Cassandra listened, and together they found Harvey a real career. Now when Harvey hears Wiggins at night, “squeeka, squeeka, sqeeka.” He smiles. Wiggins may still be on a hamster wheel, but Harvey is changing the world. – Shane Richardson
Thanks for the exercise you purebred ball of mottled fur. – Rick
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Everywhere Harvey went, Wiggins went. Wiggins happily strolled his wheel as Harvey wheeled their motorhome across America. Crisp Cascades. Majestic Mississippi. Enchanting Everglades. Wiggins, to Harvey, was family. Family, to Harvey, is everything. Wheel your Wiggins to wherever you want to go. Camping World. – Rick Copper
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Though he wasn’t cuddly or even friendly, the daily ritual of caring for Wiggins taught Harvey some powerful life values. Responsibility. Persistence. Kindness. Patience. Values that matter more than ever, but seem lately to have vanished in a digital haze. Do positive values like these still mean something to you? Go to greatday.com to re-install their power in your life. Every day. – Ralph Marston (audio below)
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Loved and cherished. So when Wiggins died, Harvey wasn’t going to settle for some tiny hole in the ground, oh no. He went big. Got himself a John Deere tractor and created the world’s greatest memorial to Wiggins. Because he knew Wiggins was worth it. Want to build your own monument to glory? See your John Deere dealer or go to www-dot-johndeere-dot-com. –Steve Tomac
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Harvey loves the water, but hamsters don’t. Hamsters bathe themselves, and like many animals water baths dry the oils that help maintain the coat and skin of the animal. Harvey’s fiberglass boat has the same issue, years of sun and water have dried and baked the fiberglass, draining the oils and chemical’s from the surface layers that make it shine and protect the surface. Do you have a boat and love the water? We do to. Let us clean and protect your hamster, I mean Boat. We’ll keep you shiny and protected for years of fun on the water and less work for you. “Dirty boat call On the Docks” Detailing and Service (417) 827-4346. – Mark Fuller
(Pleasant ukulele style music, SFX suggestive of a cage door opening on a hamster cage)
Announcer One (female, millennial, so reasonable sounding): Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. (SFX of cute animal noise, and little boy laughing)
Boy: Wiggins, you’re so silly.
Announcer One (same female voice, but with attitude) Who the fuck (SFX: BLEEP) cares?
That’s the problem with most ads. They try too hard. Here’s the thing – it doesn’t matter how you say it, until you have something to say. That’s what we do. Oxford Road is an LA based ad agency that helps start-ups get THOUSANDS of new customers EVERY WEEK on podcasts, radio, and TV. We’ve helped 8 start-ups make a billion dollars… a piece. You want your ads to work like that? Go to OxfordRoad.com. That’s OxfordRoad.com. – Stew Redwine
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. For him, Harvey created El Rancho de Roedor deep in the bosom of the Texas hill country teeming with towering oaks, green swaying grasslands and the sound of water tickling limestone. Although Wiggins has past and Harvey along with him, their beloved estate lives on. It can all be yours. Contact The Ranch Broker. Take Care of the discerning hamster in your life. – Lem Lewis
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Henry Higgins was Liza’s teacher. He made sure she spoke really well so others would think she is a princess. We’d like others to think you’re a princess, too. That’s why we listen to you when you speak. To make sure we get it right. Royal Language School for Princesses-in-waiting – Princes welcome, too. Definitely not for any Tom, Dick or Harvey. Visit royallanguageschool dot com and get the royal treatment. royallanguageschool dot com – Kita Szpak
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Tired of spinning his wheels all day, Wiggins up and left, burrowing his way to freedom. Poor Harvey was crestfallen. Where had his wily Wiggins gone? Then he remembered the girl with the avocado shoes at the pet store. She’d convinced him to buy the “Noble Rodent” GPS implant. Whipping out his smartphone, Harvey opened the free Nobel Rodent app, entered Wiggins’ ID and voila, his furry friend was found. Get the Noble Rodent and never lose sight of your precious pet again.
– Lorne Kelton
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Harvey lived in a house called Deanash in Bond, Mississippi—just down the road from Wiggins, where Harvey got his hamster. Never heard of Bond or Wiggins? I bet you’ve heard of the great American baseball player Dizzy Dean. Dizzy Dean use to live in Bond, and he left his home Deanash to be used for foster children. You see, Dizzy Dean’s mother died when he was eight, the same age Harvey was when his mother died. You can read all about Dizzy Dean at PorterBriggs.com, The Voice of the South. Everybody’s got a story—even a hamster named Wiggins. – Bill Izard (audio below)
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Harvey had been running his own spinning wheel like Wiggins trying to keep up with his fast-paced life. He felt caged, in the same spot, and exhausted. At Meaford Golf Course the only spinning wheels are on your golf cart. Nature surrounds you with mature forests. Rolling hill fairways beckon you to putter away some quiet time on the greens. We even offer 4, or 6 hole rounds for a short breather or relax longer for 9 or 18. Get off that spinning wheel and come free yourself at Meaford Golf Course. – Linda Stokes
V1: Wiggins WAS Harvey’s pet hamster. Not is, but was, because… Wiggins is dead. Harvey – a grain farmer – got himself a New Holland T-9 4-wheel drive tractor from MazerGroup. Wiggins, saw it as a 670-horsepower opportunity. The police saw it differently and – while using the New Holland as his get-away vehicle from a bank robbery – Wiggins was shot dead. It’s easy for power to go to your head. Even easier to put power on your field. With MazerGroup. – Allan G. Lie
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Wiggins was a Winter White, a breed which comes in two colours: brown or gray. For the would-be pet owner, this could be a confusing case of poor branding. If your latest awareness campaign has your customers running in circles, enlist Golden West Radio and step off the hamster wheel. You’ll never again be known as a Winter White when you’re a brown or gray. – Ron Hogue
WIGGINS WAS HARVEY’S PET HAMSTER. PEOPLE LOVED WIGGINS. KIDS ESPECIALLY. WHEN HARVEY BROUGHT WIGGINS TO HIS DENTAL OFFICE ONE DAY, EVERYONE LOVED WIGGINS. WIGGINS LIKED IT TOO. PATIENTS WHO WERE NERVOUS ABOUT SEEING DR. HARVEY WERE HAPPIER AND MORE RELAXED AFTER A VISIT WITH WIGGINS. THEY EVEN TOLD THEIR FRIENDS, WHICH IS WHY DOCTOR HARVEY’S PRACTICE IS AS BUSY AS IT IS TODAY. AT MNP, WE LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE SEE BUSINESS, AND BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES DIFFERENTLY. FROM ACCOUNTING TO CONSULTING, AND TAX, MNP CAN HELP YOU SEE YOUR BUSINESS DIFFERENTLY AT MNP-DOT-CA. – Will Woytowich
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. A chubby orange ball of fur that did little more than eat and sleep. Wiggins was Harvey’s best friend. Where Harvey went, Wiggins went. We all have a wonderful Wiggins in our past. A beloved pet, a doll, a favorite blankey. If we’re lucky we have a treasured photo with our Wiggins. We know every child should have a personal portrait with their Wiggins. You can get yours with TA Schmidt Photography in downtown Redding by calling 244-2636. – Tom Schmidt
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. However, Wiggins was given up for adoption three lonely weeks ago. You don’t think of a hamster as being expensive, but it came down to paying AT&T cable or feeding Wiggins. The bad guy won. Fortunately, I found out about a good guy. Comcast Cables new low cost fiber optics Wi-Fi. Now I just have to find Wiggins. – Jack McManus
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster – but then the cat got him. Surprisingly, it was this sudden loss of Wiggins that made Harvey take his own mortality more seriously. He finally followed the advice of his Hilliard Lyons financial advisor, who had been urging him to plan his estate to control where his assets will go. Now he has more peace about what will happen when he is no longer here. Hilliard Lyons does comprehensive wealth management, not just brokerage. We can help you, too – whether or not you love hamsters. – Garrison Cox
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. He runs in his wheel as fast as he can and goes nowhere. Engines shipped to the assembly factories must be perfect and test failures cause the Wiggins Syndrome. R&J Manufacturing does not build engines. For 54 years we design and build high-quality, custom engine test harnesses. One manufacturer experienced a $750,000 monthly sales increase. Get off the Wiggins Wheel to Nowhere! Call: 248-669-2460 so R&J can get you on the Road to Success! Visit us at RJMan.com – Rev. Charles A Bledsoe
Wiggins was Harvey’s pet hamster. Harvey was Tutu’s pet rabbit. Tutu was Magnolia’s pet toucan. Even our pets have pets at Anderson’s Pet Shop in Willow Lawn. Of course, we have dogs, cats and fish – but we also offer a wide variety of furry and winged friends for your home. Drop by to visit and find your own special pet. Across from Southside Plaza. – Wayne O’Bryan
V1: Wiggins was Harvey’s Pet Hamster. Named after Harvey’s dad who passed away exactly 817 days ago. The same day Harvey decided to open Mazergroup, a small farming implement store. Wiggin’s is there to remind him what dad taught him. Treat people how you want to be treated. The roots Mazergroup was founded on.
V2. Those same principles still apply, which is why Mazergroup is Manitoba’s exclusive choice for New Holland Equipment. I’m Harvey and were not just taking care of business, were taking care of YOU. Here, at Mazergroup.” – Brett Adnum
The last one on this page – below – was sent by our friend Norm Myhr. It arrived as a png file, so I just posted it like it came… – Indy