Author Kurt Vonnegut, age 82, reports that he recently told his wife that he was going out to buy an envelope:

“Oh,' she says, 'well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet?

And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope.

I meet a lot of people.

And, see some great looking babes.

And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up.

And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is.

And, and I don't know.

The moral of the story is, we're here on Earth to fart around.”