Leo Braudy_Haunted - The Monday Morning Memo

“Billy Bob by God
Was a son of a gun
Never hurt nobody
Never hurt no one
But he was bound for trouble
Everyone could see
He was lookin’ for trouble
And he done found me.

Billy Bob by God
Was a son-of-a-bitch,
A human mosquito,
He could make you itch.
Had a nose like a needle
And he would always stick it
Where it didn’t belong.
Made you want to kick it.

Billy Bob, by God
Was an action figure,
Thought posin’ and flexin’
Made him look bigger,
But he was a fool,
Anyone could see,
He was lookin’ for trouble
And he done found me.

Well that plastic boy
Had himself a bad day
So he decided to send
Some of it my way,
But I didn’t want it
So I gave it back
And Billy Bob by God
Decided to attack.

Well you know what happened,
Of course you do,
Billy Bob by God,
He knew it, too,
And everyone watchin’
Was surprised to see,
That Billy Bob by God,
He was a SHE!

Billy Bob by God
Was a son of a gun
Never hurt nobody
Never hurt no one
But she was bound for trouble
Everyone could see
She was lookin’ for trouble
And she done found me.

So we got to talkin’,
Then we got to dancin’
And before you knew it,
We was romancin’
And then to my and her
Complete surprise
We started havin’ kids,
Five little guys!

Billy Bob by God
Is a helluva Mom,
And those five little boys,
They did nothin’ wrong,
But Billy Bob and me,
We love Johnny Cash
So we decided to do
Somethin’ rash.

We named them boys
Sage, and Star, and Sky,
And one of ’em is Jane!
And my-oh-my we even
named one of ‘em Betty Lou!

[Music stops. The singer is now speaking]
But we knew better
Than to EVER
Have a boy named Sue.

[Music Resumes]
Billy Bob by God
Is the love of my LIFE!
And Billy Bob by God
Is a helluva wife
And you gotta know
That she’s a helluva Mom,
Because them five boys,
They WROTE this song!”

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