Dyslexic agnostic insomniac: a person who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

“You know me; I find a crowd all headed in the same direction and call it my parade.”
– Roy Laughlin on the phone with the wizard, April 26, 2012

“I wonder who wrote the phrase ‘candy ass?’ I want to meet that person. And encourage them to write more insults.
– Ze Frank

“As I stood among the ransacked ruin that had been my home, surveying the aftermath of the senseless horrors and atrocities that had been perpetrated on my family and everything I hold dear, I swore to myself that no matter where I had to go, no matter what I had to do or endure, I would find the man who did this … and when I did, when I did, oh, there would be words.”
– Rodney Reed, Ooltewah, TN, Runner-Up in the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest

“While his passing was sad, his genius undeniable, and his legacy assured, I am haunted by one question regarding Ravi Shankar. How would we have known if he made mistakes?”
– Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #403