To Do List

1. Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.

2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.

3. Wear shirt that says “Life.” Hand out lemons on street corner.

4. Get into a crowded elevator and say “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here today.’

5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.

6. Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell “It worked!” and run out cheering.

7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.

8. Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.

9. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot.”

10. Follow joggers around in your car blasting “Eye of the Tiger” for encouragement.