The Worthless Bastards love books.
One book in particular grabbed our attention, a book about mystery:
The Mysteries of Harris Burdick.
(Wizzo shared a story about Harry sometime back …)
Harris Burdick is about mysteries that begin but don’t end.
This Burdick fellow is an amazing illustrator and the book has some fantastic, fantastical drawings.
None of the Worthless Bastards can draw a straight line.
But we can write a crooked one. And this is what today’s GAME will be all about.
For the first time in the illustrious history of the Worthless Bastards,
we are giving you, the explorers of the Rabbit Hole, the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become Official Members of The Worthless Bastards.
Write an opening line to a story… an opening line so compelling it makes us want to read the rest of the story. Your opening must be 100 words or less. Email it to me prior to midnight Sunday, June 9. That’s it. My email address is email@example.com
Make it compelling, suck us in, tantalize our imaginations…
The best 12 entries receive invitations to become Worthless Bastards and attend the extraordinarily exclusive grand opening of The Jeff Morris Worldwide Invitational Bocce Ball Court at Wizard Academy’s Engelbrecht House. It will be a Worthless Bastards weekend for the ages. We don’t yet have a date, because we haven’t yet built the court, but the weekend will mostly consist of playing Bocce Ball and sitting and talking about this and that while eating endless meals and snacks and drinking many types of beer and wine.
You must leave all other business at home. This is not a weekend for work. You will have a room in Engelbrecht House and food will be provided.
If your opening line is one of the 12 chosen,
you will get to donate $500 to help build the Bocce Ball court.
The Grand Prize winner, however, will get to donate $1000 because his or her quote will be the one that will appear on the bronze Bocce Ball dedication plaque along with the names of the other 13 new Bastards in attendance. (Local Bastards Jeffrey and Brian Eisenberg, Eric Rhoads, Monica Ballard, Ray Seggern, Sarah Klenke, Tom McDowall, Ray Bard and the Immortal Jeff Morris – our own Harris Burdick – editor and designer of the wizard’s Wizard of Ads trilogy, might also be in attendance.
Now if, for example, Dave Young (better known as Young Dave) submits a brilliant bit of wordwonder but somehow inadvertently tags it with the name of his pal Tom “the Wise” Wanek … then Wanek has to pay the $500. Hey, what can we say, we’re Bastards. But Wanek would also receive the invitation and be named on the plaque, so maybe that’s not so great a prank as it sounded like at first. Winners will be notified of their pending status as Bastards on or before June 17, 2013. Your Bastard status will become official when your check clears the bank. That’s the Bastard way.